Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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