She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
