Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
