awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
