It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
