is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
