There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
