Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
