Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
