and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
