I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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