i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
