I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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