Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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