are you still at the devil's house?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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