Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
