Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It's like God shit irony all over that family
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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