How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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