Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize