I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
