We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
Randomize
