if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So many bounce houses so little time
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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