ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
