his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize