did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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