THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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