But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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