sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
