I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
