if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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