I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
