lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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