So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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