she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
