Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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