Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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