Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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