i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
