so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
