I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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