fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Someone shattered a urinal.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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