This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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