At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
