Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize