The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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