He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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