what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
