Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dick very happy bro
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
