I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He felt like a one man threesome
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
