I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
only if we run a train.
done.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
