Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
