It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
