we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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