Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
