I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
this hospital has no fireball
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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