i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
