so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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