The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
