So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize