Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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