i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
