in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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