Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
