normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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