Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize